Tech Humor & Satire | TechChuff - the folly of too many

Web 2.0

ChuffCamp69 - Submit Your Company

ChuffCamp69 - Submit Your Company

Monday, June 29, 2009 16:02

We at TechChuff invite your company on stage at this year's annual ChuffCamp 69. We put the 69 most ...

Breaking: eBay to sell office chairs back to Ikea

Breaking: eBay to sell office chairs back to Ikea

Tuesday, April 14, 2009 21:04

Hot on the heels of the shocking news that in the space of just two days eBay had agreed a ...

Web 2.0 Startup Gets £10 Funding Round from Mate's Dad.

Web 2.0 Startup Gets £10 Funding Round from Mate’s Dad.

Sunday, February 15, 2009 17:18

Who says it's all doom and gloom when it comes to VC funding in the current economic climate?  Wank.io, the ...

Google Android Eats Owner. Blows Up Police Helicopter. Still on the Rampage.

Google Android Eats Owner. Blows Up Police Helicopter. Still on the Rampage.

Friday, February 13, 2009 10:26

Over-enthusiastic Google employees accidentally released the Google Android into the wild last night. The 30-foot tall, fire-breathing, laser-eyed robot with ...

Facebook to Make Money Selling Your Data to Your Mom

Facebook to Make Money Selling Your Data to Your Mom

Tuesday, February 3, 2009 6:28

Facebook's perpetually 24-year-old founder, Mark Zuckerberg, announced today that they have plans to monetize their enormous user base by selling ...

Survey : Grandmas are Clueless About Cloud Computing

Survey : Grandmas are Clueless About Cloud Computing

Sunday, February 1, 2009 18:26

Saga Holidays, who specialise in holidays for the over 50s,  have recently published a survey on the latest technological revolution ...

AOL Puts Bebo up for Sale as Parts

AOL Puts Bebo up for Sale as Parts

Tuesday, January 27, 2009 17:44

AOL CEO, Mr Aol, confirmed rumors that their $800m investment in Bebo, a sort of Teletubby version of Facebook, was ...

Gadgets

Daimler Takes Stake in Electric Radio-Controlled Car Company

Daimler Takes Stake in Electric Radio-Controlled Car Company

Wednesday, May 20, 2009 15:57

News has hitting the wire all day with the speed and accuracy of blindfolded chimps throwing shit at each other. ...

Sky Announce 3D Televisions by Year End. Big-Nosed Celebs and Porn Stars Panic.

Sky Announce 3D Televisions by Year End. Big-Nosed Celebs and Porn Stars Panic.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009 8:51

Sky have announced that they will start trialing 3D television technology by the end of 2009. Their proposed technology options ...

Local Mother Assumes Fax Machine 'Must be Teleporter'

Local Mother Assumes Fax Machine ‘Must be Teleporter’

Monday, March 2, 2009 5:25

In our weekly human interest story we bring you the heartbreaking tale of Mrs Janet Constance from London, England, Europe. Janet ...

Father Dies Copying DVD to Floppy Disks. Unhelpful Son Jailed.

Father Dies Copying DVD to Floppy Disks. Unhelpful Son Jailed.

Thursday, February 12, 2009 12:49

A father of 2 died of exasperation after spending 3 weeks backing up classic dad DVD 'The Seven Samurai' to ...

Sony to Work with Ikea to Deliver More Pointlessly Proprietary Formats

Sony to Work with Ikea to Deliver More Pointlessly Proprietary Formats

Thursday, January 8, 2009 18:26

Sony Corporation and Ikea Systems B.V. joined forces last night to further impose their quirky disregard for any sort of ...

Netbooks for Tall People Scam Revealed

Netbooks for Tall People Scam Revealed

Thursday, January 8, 2009 5:52

Surveys performed by Techchuff have uncovered the dirty secret of the laptop industry which they have been exploiting and abusing ...

Social Media

'Attending Conferences' is the New 'Having A Job' in Today's Internet Industry

‘Attending Conferences’ is the New ‘Having A Job’ in Today’s Internet Industry

Monday, June 29, 2009 5:05

Startling research performed by Nazi scientists on small animals including beavers, has shown that more Internet professionals describe their vocation ...

Skype IM Chat Logs To be Turned Over to Government Office Gossip Tsar

Skype IM Chat Logs To be Turned Over to Government Office Gossip Tsar

Wednesday, June 24, 2009 12:13

Grim news today fellow idle-office workers. Skype have been forced to handover all instant messaging transcripts to the Government over ...

IBM's DeepBlue Computer Beats Chess Grand Master in Arm Wrestle. End of World Ensues.

IBM’s DeepBlue Computer Beats Chess Grand Master in Arm Wrestle. End of World Ensues.

Friday, May 15, 2009 12:51

Limp-wristed geeks across the world trembled over the shocking news that Bartosz Socko, the Polish Chess GrandMaster, was defeated by ...

NAMBLA Announces Social Media Strategy for 2009

NAMBLA Announces Social Media Strategy for 2009

Friday, February 20, 2009 7:56

The North American Man/Boy Love Association's Head of Marketing, Peter File, announced today their spectacular launch into online social media. The ...

Police Suspect @stephenfry of Being Cult Leader.

Police Suspect @stephenfry of Being Cult Leader.

Monday, January 26, 2009 9:25

Police have put an arrest warrant out for @stephenfry as government officials have declared his Twitter following to be officially ...

Snake Oil Retailer Advocates Social Media

Snake Oil Retailer Advocates Social Media

Monday, January 12, 2009 17:44

Clarke Stanley, the 'Rattlesnake King', today conducted a fascinating interview on the huge success he has had promoting his online ...

Robert Scoble Discovered to be Twitter Bot

Robert Scoble Discovered to be Twitter Bot

Thursday, January 8, 2009 6:09

Ex-microsoft defector and superblogger Robert Scoble, whose blog has been religiously read for years and now ...

Apple

“Microsoft Loving MacBoys” Headline Confuses You

Tuesday, January 6, 2009 13:12

Today's headline proclaiming "Microsoft loving MacBoys" has confused readers while they read this headline. Unsure if Microsoft are in fact in ...

News

IBM's DeepBlue Computer Beats Chess Grand Master in Arm Wrestle. End of World Ensues.

IBM’s DeepBlue Computer Beats Chess Grand Master in Arm Wrestle. End of World Ensues.

Friday, May 15, 2009 12:51

Limp-wristed geeks across the world trembled over the shocking news that Bartosz Socko, the Polish Chess GrandMaster, was defeated by ...

Microsoft forced to repeatedly state that Windows 7

Microsoft forced to repeatedly state that Windows 7 “wasn’t an April Fools Joke”

Friday, April 3, 2009 4:25

Bill Gates has been spending the last few days touring the country dressed as Pennyworth the Clown in an attempt ...

 Craig Admits Every Item on Craigslist Involves 'Erotic Services'.

Craig Admits Every Item on Craigslist Involves ‘Erotic Services’.

Monday, March 16, 2009 10:09

Craig Newmark.org , the allegedly money-phobic creator of the eponymous classifieds giant Craigslist, admitted today that every listing in every ...

Government Announces New UK CTO Position. Lord British Heads Shortlist.

Government Announces New UK CTO Position. Lord British Heads Shortlist.

Friday, March 6, 2009 6:57

Lord British, ruler of the online realm Britannia, is currently the bookies' favourite for the newly created government position of ...

Ryanair to Rebrand as 'Fucking Ryanair', Also to Charge 'Peasants' for Real Planes

Ryanair to Rebrand as ‘Fucking Ryanair’, Also to Charge ‘Peasants’ for Real Planes

Wednesday, February 25, 2009 16:15

Ryanair's CEO Michael O'Fuckface announced that they are spending 50p rebranding their online torture airline to 'Fucking Ryanair' so it's ...

Fact: 87% of Hot Women's Computer Issues Triggered Remotely by IT Support

Fact: 87% of Hot Women’s Computer Issues Triggered Remotely by IT Support

Saturday, February 7, 2009 14:39

In mind-bending research conducted by eminent Oxford don Professor Quacky McKickBack, it has been statistically proven that most IT issues ...

Author of 'The Long Tail' to Release New Book: 'I'm Buggered'

Author of ‘The Long Tail’ to Release New Book: ‘I’m Buggered’

Thursday, February 5, 2009 12:26

Chris Anderson, editor of Wired magazine and bad-boy author of best-selling brainwashing tome, 'The Long Tail' and the to-be-released dribblefest, 'Free', announced ...

Media

Man claims having sex with cleaner is part of his 'fair use policy'

Man claims having sex with cleaner is part of his ‘fair use policy’

Saturday, March 14, 2009 15:53

A local nerd was caught today in flagrante delicto with his Polish cleaner by his pan-wielding wife but managed to ...

Old Media is Dead. Murdoch Reassigns All Journalists to 'Top 10' List Writing Duties

Old Media is Dead. Murdoch Reassigns All Journalists to ‘Top 10′ List Writing Duties

Monday, March 2, 2009 17:12

The war between old media and new media was declared over today. The trebuchet of irrationality fired it's final payload ...

Facebook Announce 'The Joker' Joining Board as Advisor of Evil

Facebook Announce ‘The Joker’ Joining Board as Advisor of Evil

Wednesday, February 25, 2009 4:19

Mark Zuckerberg, 15, has responded to criticism about the recent failed changes to Facebook's Terms of Service with the news ...

Ex-CEO of Yahoo, Jerry Yang, Wins Oscar for Best Actor

Ex-CEO of Yahoo, Jerry Yang, Wins Oscar for Best Actor

Monday, February 23, 2009 6:02

In a surprising turn of events Jerry Yang beat the favourites, Mickey Rourke and Sean Penn, for the coveted Best ...

Mother Spends Almost as Much Time Looking after Baby as She Does Discussing it on Internet

Mother Spends Almost as Much Time Looking after Baby as She Does Discussing it on Internet

Tuesday, February 17, 2009 7:31

Fabulous mother of 1, full-time mother and surprisingly beautiful mother of beautiful child, Jane McPhee 35, admitted today that she'd ...

Internets to the Rescue! Man Impales Face on Shovel and Gets Help from Yahoo! Answers!

Internets to the Rescue! Man Impales Face on Shovel and Gets Help from Yahoo! Answers!

Monday, February 9, 2009 15:19

Tom Johnson was found dead in his shed today after falling from a chair and landing face first onto a ...

Man Clicks on Banner Advert 9 Years ago. Still Clicking Today.

Man Clicks on Banner Advert 9 Years ago. Still Clicking Today.

Sunday, February 1, 2009 3:03

A New York man was discovered in his apartment yesterday after being presuming missing for the last 9 years. Billy ...

Video games

Is 'Mario' Touching YOUR Child Right Now?

Is ‘Mario’ Touching YOUR Child Right Now?

Wednesday, January 14, 2009 4:26

A child was taken into care services yesterday after a potential Italian-based internet paedophile ring was discovered by police. The child ...

Wii-titis on the up! Man Hurts Hand Beating Wife with Wiimote

Wii-titis on the up! Man Hurts Hand Beating Wife with Wiimote

Thursday, January 8, 2009 5:15

On a lighter note, the spate of Nintendo Wii related injuries collectively known as Wii-titis, such as 'Wii elbow', 'Wii ...

Video Game Nut Accidently Kills Actual Boss

Video Game Nut Accidently Kills Actual Boss

Tuesday, January 6, 2009 17:13

In a curious turn of events today, a employee was suspended from work for 2 weeks and sentenced to life ...