Apple Admit to Implementing ‘Augmented Reality’ Code in all Mac Owners
‘Augmented Reality’ is just so hot. It’s mere existence is augmenting your reality right now into thinking that it’s even hotter and more life-changing. Yet today Apple dropped the bombshell that they have been building in ‘Augmented Reality’ into the millions of drooling Apple owners for the last 15 years.
Many of us iPhone users are normally accustomed to taking over dinner parties to show everyone including the old chap who had just been telling people about his recovery from cancer, a succession of mindless fucking iPhone apps and games which they have just downloaded, and then still proceed to play ‘Flight Path’ during dinner even though the host has split hot soup into their crotch rendering them impotent both in mind and body.
Yet with the introduction of both this latest technology and the hot PR’able buzzword, we can now show off the fact you can watch the world through the iPhone screen with useless computerised informatics overlaid on the image, garnering the required ‘ooh that’s pretty cool’ response from the 6 year old kid next door.
However the news that Apple has not just built in Augmented Reality into the iPhone but in fact all Apple owners come to no surprise to TechChuff. The facts truthed themselves: Instant eye-glazing and jaw-slackening at any rumours from a MacWorld keynote; the spontaneous erections at the first mention of the classic G3 Cube; the irrational arm-swinging, cock-jousting defence of the MacBook’s lack of a ‘delete’ key; the weird all-white shrines to Woz built in their garage with plans to construct a full-sized Apple Store-like citadel on Mars to take a frozen Steve Jobs to rest.
These can only be explained by the brain-rewiring reality-augmenting brainwashing perpetuated by Mr Jobs’ ‘Reality Distortion Field’ device mounted on the roof of Apple HQ in Cupertino.
We at TechChuff urge all family members of Apple owners to take them to the nearest Church of Scientology where they can be cared for by similar people who understand their horrible plight.