Topic News

Fat kid ‘likes’ Samsung on Facebook. Billions wiped from share value.

The market reacted badly in response to the news that Simon Ackman, a fat uncool kid in Indiana, ‘liked’ Samsung on Facebook early  today. Nearly $2bn was wiped from

Continue Reading→
Scrap ICT in favour of Zuckerberg lessons, says Gove

Scrap ICT in favour of Zuckerberg lessons, says Gove

Education secretary Michael Gove yesterday announced plans to scrap ‘boring’ ICT lessons in favour of a curriculum teaching children to be emotionally withdrawn social outcasts. Gove said current ICT classes

Continue Reading→

“Everything Old is Dead”, Declares Entire Internet

The music industry.  Dead. Traditional journalism.  Deader. You’ve Been Framed.  DEADEST. The murderer? The Internet. In shocking admission the Internet has admitted that everything that it considers to be ‘old’ and

Continue Reading→

State-Run Ad-Network to Buy Products on Your Behalf.

While the usual remark about how in Soviet Russia ‘the online bargains BUY YOU’ would be passé and clichéd, news that the UK government will be working with

Continue Reading→

Police Manhunt Begins As Man Fails to Log into Facebook.

A missing person’s report was issued by police this morning after a Croydon man disappeared from Facebook. Friends fear the worst for 31-year-old Liam Blackley, after he ‘vanished’ from the

Continue Reading→

Internet Entrepreneur’s Mother Still Assumes He ‘Fixes Computers’ For Living

Inappropriately young but deceptively stubbled Internet Entrepreneur Anil Dot confirmed today that his mother still thinks he must be a computer repairman given he works in ‘IT’. Anil admitted he maintains

Continue Reading→

The Chuffington Post Part 2: LadyChuff answers her swollen mailbag

Dear Lady Chuff, As one of East London’s foremost self-proclaimed geeks, I was naturally one of the first to place an order for a Kindle. If I’m honest, though, I

Continue Reading→

Spambots Join Royal Mail Postal Strike. Viagra Emails May be Delayed for Xmas

Penis enlargement specialists and bereaved sons of murdered Ivory Coast businessmen were among the groups to voice their outrage today after thousands of Spambots pledged their support to striking

Continue Reading→

Confirmed: General Election to be Held Online at SurveyMonkey.com

The extent of government cost-cutting measures has been uncovered after a leaked first draft of the Prime Minister’s Labour Party Conference speech revealed the government plans to hold the

Continue Reading→

Brown Admits He Uses His Weekly Call with Obama to Tell Him to ‘Check out my twitters’

President Obama shocked by-standers in a local In-N-Out Burger with the following tirade captured by a tramp with a Flip HD: [one-sided transcript] “No, I haven’t read your tweets because I do

Continue Reading→