CES Round Up 1: Breville announce 3D Toaster.
CES. Vegas. Dead hookers. USB 3. That’s what it’s all about and that’s what we are rounding up over the next few days. Having returned from Vegas with loads of free swag and memories of being slapped by booth babes we were sexually harassing, we still are excited about what Consumer Electronics holds for us credit-fueled gadget morons in 2012.
The most exciting announcement of the week has to be Breville’s new 3D toaster which we had a chance to play with and were truly astounded us with how 3 dimensional it seemed to be. Breville’s PR rep was over excited:
“Fuck 2d toasters and that 1d bread you had to use till now. This toaster has DEPTH. It’s actually exists in all 3 planes of reality. I can walk around it. It has perspective. It’s INTENSE”
We took off our 3D glasses and we stunned to find the toaster still appeared 3D.
“That’s right. This is true glassless 3d. We have finally achieved the holy grail – fuck Jim Cameron. Fuck him and his space owls.”
Stunning. However Breville were quick to start talking about their upcoming 4D toasters and potentially being able to alter TIME on a scale from 1 to 6 on a dial next to the ‘frozen’ button. MENTAL