Netbooks for Tall People Scam Revealed
Surveys performed by Techchuff have uncovered the dirty secret of the laptop industry which they have been exploiting and abusing over the last year.
The CEO of Dell, Michael Dell or ‘Dell-boy’ as he is known by us, admitted they have been selling normal sized laptops to tall and fat people as the latest hot mini-sized netbooks.
He stated, “I didn’t know what to do. One of our reps send me an email saying a very tall customer had come in to the shop, picked up a 17″ Celeron laptop and proclaimed it was the smallest thing he’d seen. He kept eulogising about how these new netbooks are so portable and light and my rep just nodded his head and sold it to him. That laptop is old stock, it retails for $299. We sold that as a netbook to a tall person for $499.”
Several larged-handed customers have contacted us to complain that it was only upon taking their ‘ultra-portable’ laptop home and giving it to their normal sized wife to hold up against her head that they realised their error.
“Damn, I knew I was tall so my eyes are pretty high up, and that I had big hands but I never realised that I could make this sort of error. Maybe I do actually have a massive penis?’, said Dennis Rodman today.
The recent Dell procurement deals with the NBA and Japanese Sumo Assocation were cancelled in light of these revelations.
Are you a victim of this scam? Are you tall? Do you have a massive penis? Or did you buy an actual netbook thinking you could walk into a Starbucks with a tiny leather shoulderbag, pull out an ultraportable and then write your overdue memoirs over a latte, struggling not to mash 4 keys at once on the undersized keyboard, squinting to read anything on the tiny screen, and then dropping it down the side of sofa where you forgot about it till just now? Contact TechChuff today.