Sony to Work with Ikea to Deliver More Pointlessly Proprietary Formats

Sony Corporation and Ikea Systems B.V. joined forces last night to further impose their quirky disregard for any sort of standards upon the masses and annnounced that all their electrical devices in the future will be using newly designed 4-pin power plugs instead of the usual 3 pin. Ikea did state that their plug pins would be round rather than Sony’s square pins which is part of the deal between the two fucking companies to make things even more difficult.

They just couldn't use these could they.

They just couldn't use these could they.

Head of Sony Product, Felix Myass said, “We have proven this model works. We design products. We make everything about it weirdly ‘Sony’ and then charge you the earth to make it work. You had to buy betamax tape, minidiscs, memory sticks, SA-CD, umds and blurays, all for a premium, without complaint and we made a shit load of money. Making our power plugs proprietary was the logical next step”

Aibo battery discharged after biting child's face off

Aibo's battery was discharged after biting child's face off

Unfortunately consumers will not be able to buy a simple plug adapter and instead Sony are selling £2000 home packages to replace the sockets and wiring systems in people’s houses. They claimed that these profits were being invested in vital new product lines such as more AIBO robot dogs, the dead Walkman brand, and stupid Rolly dancing MP3 players. Soon after the announcement Ikea were quick to jump on board after their long, long history of pissing customers off for no reason.

Ikea’s CTO said this on the phone earlier today while eating a rollmop and watching pornography.

“Häve you ever bought a måttress or duvet from us? Have you foolishly bought one of our desk lamps or kitchen units? Håve you stabbed yourself in the ear when you’ve håd to drive all the way båck to Ikea to get a sheet, duvet cover, lightbulb and worktop because nothing in normal shops fucking fits? That’s Ikea. We didn’t need to do that but we did. That’s what we stand for. Thåt’s how we roll bitches!”


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