Ex-CEO of Yahoo, Jerry Yang, Wins Oscar for Best Actor
In a surprising turn of events Jerry Yang beat the favourites, Mickey Rourke and Sean Penn, for the coveted Best Actor award for his role as ‘CEO’ in the zany sci-fi adventure: ‘Yahoo! We Should Have Said Yes’.
Jerry Yang, the epitome of the method actor, admitted he studied closely many failed CEOs, bumbling mad-professors and ADHD-suffering 5-year-olds to perfect his role as ‘the man who ruined Yahoo!’.
“I was going for a character blend between Dirty Harry, Doc Brown and Sloth from the Goonies. It was that raw vulnerability, the naked emotion and incredulous stupidity that I wanted to truly harness as the CEO of Yahoo! Some people said that it couldn’t be done, that this character’s incompetence couldn’t be captured to film but I proved them all wrong.”
In fact Jerry’s devotion to his art meant he challenged Christian Bale in terms of making personal and physical sacrifices for a role. He gained about 40lbs and actively became more and more nincompoop-like through Zen meditation and watching daytime TV endlessly.
“I drank nothing but Sunny-D with Jack Daniels and watched infomercials all day. I never once turned a computer on. All I read was the back of microwave meals and sometimes I bashed myself on the head with a plank of wood. I also learned to type without using capital letters. This was the hardest part for me. I am a huge fan of sentence case so writing all my internal emails in lower case like a 15-year old girl was a real challenge.”
Jerry’s peers were quick to laud his achievement. Carol Bartz who took over his role in the romantic-comedy sequel, ‘Yahoo! – I Just Don’t Think Anyone’s That Into Us’, said:
“If I had a gun I’d literally kill him.”
Michael Bay, who directed the film added:
“The destruction of Yahoo! was all CGI. The character of Jerry was CGI. Even I was CGI. But it was his spirit. That spirit of ‘I’ll fuck it all up’ that I captured in this $150m giant robots from outta-space adventure. And that was priceless. Even at $40 a share. “
TechChuff looks forward to the spinoff movie, Yang Part II directed by Steven Soderbergh, where we’ll see Jerry Yang go back to his roots; flipping burgers, grooming minature dogs and downloading free porno all day.