Ex-CEO of Yahoo, Jerry Yang, Wins Oscar for Best Actor

In a surprising turn of events Jerry Yang beat the favourites, Mickey Rourke and Sean Penn, for the coveted Best Actor award for his role as ‘CEO’ in the zany sci-fi adventure: ‘Yahoo! We Should Have Said Yes’.

Jerry Yang, the epitome of the method actor, admitted he studied closely many failed CEOs, bumbling mad-professors and ADHD-suffering 5-year-olds to perfect his role as ‘the man who ruined Yahoo!’.

“I was going for a character blend between Dirty Harry, Doc Brown and Sloth from the Goonies. It was that raw vulnerability, the naked emotion and incredulous stupidity that I wanted to truly harness as the CEO of Yahoo! Some people said that it couldn’t be done, that this character’s incompetence couldn’t be captured to film but I proved them all wrong.”

Town Hall Meeting of Yahoos

Town Hall Meeting of Yahoos

In fact Jerry’s devotion to his art meant he challenged Christian Bale in terms of making personal and physical sacrifices for a role. He gained about 40lbs and actively became more and more nincompoop-like through Zen meditation and watching daytime TV endlessly.

“I drank nothing but Sunny-D with Jack Daniels and watched infomercials all day. I never once turned a computer on. All I read was the back of microwave meals and sometimes I bashed myself on the head with a plank of wood. I also learned to type without using capital letters. This was the hardest part for me. I am a huge fan of sentence case so writing all my internal emails in lower case like a 15-year old girl was a real challenge.”

Jerry’s peers were quick to laud his achievement. Carol Bartz who took over his role in the romantic-comedy sequel, ‘Yahoo! – I Just Don’t Think Anyone’s That Into Us’,  said:

“If I had a gun I’d literally kill him.”

Michael Bay, who directed the film added:

“The destruction of Yahoo! was all CGI. The character of Jerry was CGI.  Even I was CGI. But it was his spirit. That spirit of ‘I’ll fuck it all up’ that I captured in this $150m giant robots from outta-space adventure.  And that was priceless. Even at $40 a share. “

TechChuff looks forward to the spinoff movie, Yang Part II directed by Steven Soderbergh, where we’ll see Jerry Yang go back to his roots; flipping burgers, grooming minature dogs and downloading free porno all day.

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