Old Media is Dead. Murdoch Reassigns All Journalists to ‘Top 10′ List Writing Duties

The war between old media and new media was declared over today. The trebuchet of irrationality fired it’s final payload of nonsense as Rupert Murdoch redeployed all his journalists, across all publications, to new assignments writing witty pseudo-pop-culture Top 10 lists.

The ‘Top 10 list’  has see a meteoric rise to being the sole article being written by any website trying to get traffic and visitors. It has been recently embraced by online newspaper portals as they look to the internet for inspiration about what the general public really want to read and what their duty as disseminators of news should be.

In Latin she would be called "babia majora".

In Latin she would be called "babia majora".

Mr Murdoch’s decision pushes this movement even further, both on and offline. The Editor of the Times remarked today:

“Humans have 10 fingers and simple brains. Articles are dead. Prose is dead. Long words are even deader. Readers from today’s internet world have no attention span and the ape-like desire for instant gratification. While The Daily Star can show boobies on Page 3 we’ll turn our entire paper into Top 10 lists; every topic, every news event, every human interest story will be bullet-pointed and rank-ordered. You have no opinion – we’ll define your transitive preferences for good. We’ll say: ‘Iraq is better than Vietnam is better than Korean is better than the Boer War’ and you’ll fucking eat it.  That’s it. No questions. “

Additionally the bold move of introducing Top 7, Top 16 and Top 27 lists have been proposed to ‘surprise and delight’ readers accustomed to just ten celebrities who own pets which look like other celebrities, and challenge the readers numerically.  Also given journalists’ limitations on being able to actually report the news, now that’s the job of any lunatic on the street with a iPhone and Twitter account, most are forced to spend their time finding lists of things that haven’t been listed.

“I mean it’s just got to bear some vague resemblance to what’s important in the world today and fits the area I’m covering. Taste isn’t a issue. Nor is inconsequentiality. Yesterday I did a Top 10 list of numbers between 1 and 10, and today I’m writing a list of Top 10 Child Killers ranked by attractiveness. It’s about 500 words but it’s got LOTS of pictures”

As traditional media follows internet publishing trends and as more and more news is consumed online, getting a bigger share of online advertising dollars and some kind of poisoned self-defeating financial lifeline is key. TechChuff looks forward to settling down to read the Top 17 Robert Scoble Twitter bitchfights on the front page of the Sunday Times this weekend.

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