Newspapers, Which are Made of Wood, Declare Google to be Carbon-Inefficient.
Reports are flooding in from newspapers around the world as unread, misquoted research from Harvard states that ‘Two Google searches release as much carbon dioxide as boiling a kettle. Yo’.
While we usually put common sense to one side in critical debates like this, sarcastic comments about the amount of carbon dioxide released from printing the columns inches about this story must still be ignored. Especially given the shocking revelation that newspapers are made of trees and the Internet isn’t.
We at TechChuff have already made our site carbon neutral, cleverly offsetting our farts and belches. We have achieved this status in less than 15 minutes by giving money to some pseudo-organisation who claims they can offset our carbon footprint but in reality invests the money in weapon-grade uranium but I don’t care because my environmental guilt is absolved. Unlike you, you Internet-using, climate-changing bastards.