Katie Price Tells Skype to ‘Stop Being Such A Money-Grabbing Bitch’

Many news outlets are comparing the bitter ‘I want half your shit Eddie’ divorce of eBay and Skype to the ‘Give me back my wooden leg you rich bastard’ public shit-flinging between the McCartneys. Yet ‘famous’ ‘glamour’ ‘model’ Jordan has pleaded to Skype to grow up and look at how her and Peter Andre have handled their recent split with public grace and maturity.

Is Dwight Yorke the Joost in this affair?

Is Dwight Yorke the Joost in this affair?

Earlier this year eBay finally realised their mistake in getting together with Skype, decided that enough was enough and threw them out of the house with nothing but £1bn in their back pocket and Roger Moore’s daughter’s paternity claim dealt with.

However things turned sour almost instantly with Skype running into the arms of a group of investors legs-spread and then turning around to sue eBay for £75m a day for ‘IP infringment’ and ensuing ‘emotional trauma‘.

Katie Price was quick to comment:

‘Right, so I may been completely batshit insane and left my husband because he didn’t like my horse obsession,  pendulous plastic tits or the fact I was used to go out with Dane Bowers. But when I walked out all I did was to tell the press about his small cock, leave our children home alone to go clubbing in Ibiza, publicly humiliate his career on television, and then go on a fake-tan-fuelled shagging spree with models, strippers and cage fighters. Compared to me what Skype is doing lacks class.’

Peter Andre was also keen to sympathise with eBay.

“I see a lot of me in John Donahoe. The permatan and lubed-up eight-pack. The previous glittering singing career.  Being a little simple and being taken for a ride by a money-grabbing penniless wannabe. I just feel sorry that he didn’t realise the Insania involved to bed Skype. We should talk – I have a new album coming out”

TechChuff looks forward to listening to this album.

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