Author of ‘The Long Tail’ to Release New Book: ‘I’m Buggered’

Chris Anderson, editor of Wired magazine and bad-boy author of best-selling brainwashing tome, ‘The Long Tail’ and the to-be-released dribblefest, ‘Free’, announced the third work in his triptych entitled, ‘I’m Buggered’.

Mr Anderson is famous for writing books whose titles are based on a flippant observational comment about the internet and then filling his pockets with royalties from the book sales and speaking gigs at Web Conferences for the Lonely.

"I'm Buggered"

"I'm Buggered"

‘The Long Tail’ was written when he saw a big mouse with a long tail and said to himself: “Mmmh, look at the long tail on that big mouse, the tail is long. Like the tail of a graph I didn’t look at properly. Mmmh, maybe companies sell more of their niche products rather than their best sellers. Maybe I can write a book about this, yeah. Maybe I’m talking doodoo.”

After repeating the phrase ‘long tail’ in every conversation and getting a legion of Web 2.0 startups, whose business model was ‘to leverage the long tail’, repeating his mantra constantly; Mr Anderson then jumped on the word ‘Free’.

“I was in a Ferrari garage and I thought to myself that if the price was ‘free’, not only could I buy 10 Ferraris but everyone in the whole world could have a Ferrari. It’s like the model of the internet – give everything away for free and then profit. Somehow.”

That book, entitled “Free”, is based on the theory of ‘freeconomics’, which itself is based on the economic theories of hokey BS and blind hope.  Mr Anderson, clearly on a roll, then came up with the title of his latest book while playing Hungry-Hungry Hippos.

“I was sat drinking Listerine playing this game, thinking about whether real hippos could eat cannon balls and survive. Then the news came on about all this stuff about the economic climate, these free dog-hotel start-ups going under, all these companies burning their VC cash and making no money and I thought ‘Fuck me – If anyone reads “Free” then I’m buggered.’  I mean they might think I’m just some kind of good-looking, one-trick pony. Whose one trick is writing brilliant best-selling books.  And feeding hippos.”

“I’m Buggered” is a thesis on how if you read the ramblings of one man and base your entire online business on this drivel then one day you’ll end up in a downtown bar, penniless and addicted to Vicodin and whiskey cocktails thinking to yourself:

“This time. This time I’m Buggered”

“I’m Buggered” comes out as a 400 page hardback true-crime novella at $49.99 plus a punch in the face.

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