The Chuffington Post Part 2: LadyChuff answers her swollen mailbag

Dear Lady Chuff,

As one of East London’s foremost self-proclaimed geeks, I was naturally one of the first to place an order for a Kindle. If I’m honest, though, I don’t really get it. What’s the point of trawling through pages and pages of Dostoevsky if the guy sitting opposite you on the tube can’t see how clever and well-read you are?

RM, Old Street.

The adult version just replaced the word 'wang' for 'wand'.

The adult version just replaced the word 'wand' with 'wang'.

Dearest RM,

Ah, the folly of the slavish, whorish gadget junkie. Making people realise you’re clever is hard, these days, isn’t it?

The answer to your dilemma is, of course, to wait for a bit. Lady Chuff doesn’t wish to disappoint, but you know as well as she that it’s a rare idea Google doesn’t shamelessly pilfer, then improve upon to make it irresistible to the masses.

In fact, we have it on very good authority that Jonathan Ives and Google are currently hard at work on an aesthetically pleasing Kindle-smashing collaboration: it will feature two screens – an LCD one to read off, and a high-visibility HD version on the reverse which will showcase Book Artwork, created for the sole purpose of showing the world you are currently embroiled in a rare work by Plato. In fact, my source tells me you’ll even be able to swap it over – the electronic equivalent of teenage boys hiding porn magazines in the pages of heavyweight eighteenth century political texts.

Until then, though, R, the only way to impress upon the world just how erudite you are will remain to sellotape the cover of the book you are reading to the back of the Kindle. This will have the effect of making you appear charmingly postmodern: a sort of literary version of those Cath Kidston Roberts radios. With a pioneer like you, I’m sure it’ll catch on.

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