Mark Zuckerberg to Star as Michael Cera Playing Nick Jonas Playing Andy Samberg Playing Jesse Eisenberg as Mark Zuckerberg in “ZUCK: The Film about Me”
The Zuck. Love him gently or hate him naughtily with late-night phone calls to his parent’s house telling them about the dead hooker in his garage. The existence of a Dave Fincher-directed Facebook movie entitled : “Zuck: Why I’m Much Richer Than You” bizarrely continues to persist in a Twilight-zone style LSD alterno-verse and go weirder today with casting announcements being made by a real human rather than a gravelly-voiced talking coyote.
Justin Timberlake is now set to star as Zuck’s 104th hire, Ralph McFadden, a lowly PHP developer whose only consequence to the entire Facebook story was being involved in the build of the oft-mocked folly, Facebook Beacon, and then being beaten to death with a dildo by an angry Zuck 6 months later. Rumors are also circulating that The Rock will be playing Mike Arrington, editor of women’s magazine TechCrunch, whose cheer-leading efforts over the Facebook App Platform caused the noted ‘Priapism of Facebook Staffers and Technology Bloggers’ of late ’07.
CGI revenue models are being worked on by ILM, and scale-miniatures of the Super Poke and Vampire applications are being constructed by Weta in New Zealand. The film’s budget is estimated to be around $15bn with much of the outside investment going straight into the construction of the millions of slack-jawed animatronic Facebook users by Stan Winston Studios in conjunction with RealDolls Inc.
However the biggest news has been the casting of Mark Zuckerberg to play the other actors playing him in the film. An inside leak has revealed that Mark’s character in the film will be played by Jesse Eisenberg who will be played by Andy Samberg portrayed by Nick Jonas played by Michael Cera who in turn, it seems, will be played by the actual Mark Zuckerberg.
Stay tuned TechChuff movie buffs as when this critically-important masterpiece thunders in your multiplex the only thing that won’t be violated will be your sense of smell. Unless the kid next to you poops himself again.