Snake Oil Retailer Advocates Social Media
Clarke Stanley, the ‘Rattlesnake King’, today conducted a fascinating interview on the huge success he has had promoting his online Snake Oil business via Social Media advertising and a whole bunch of stuff his crooked digital agency sold him he didn’t understand.
“Social Media works. Some people say ‘What is social media?’. I say ‘It’s media that’s social. Socially medium. Mediumly social. I’m selling my product where the conversation is happening, where the people are and happen. Conversationally, I mean.
Now I’m big in the Snake Oil business, and I discovered you can’t afford not to engage users in their world, with their data. Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, Bebo, AdultFriendFinder, BangBus, LoveZoo.com – there is a world of people being social, not wanting to buy anything, half-naked and keen to ignore irrelevant adverts shown to them.”
When asked if traditional banner adverts have had their day, Clarke was adamant that today, engagement was everything.
“You need 10 facebook profiles for your product, 4 twitter feeds, 2 ‘hilarious’ blogs, a Bebo TV show and an account on Mysinglefriend saying you’re sweet and clean the last time you were checked. People need to see your targeted advert, read your microblog and be able to buy a lasagna with your corporate logo baked into one of the spinach pasta sheets.
But it’s not just a brand marketing play. After one of these great campaigns, I can calculate actual revenue based on hypothetical sales in a made-up situation, where I’ve sold a million pounds of snake oil at 90% margin. That’s straight up cash money profit. That is real ROI-based analytics. It’s science. Hard fact. Nano-technology. You know what I’m saying? NASA. Robot dogs. Toasters with mp3 players and data driven marketing”
To be honest we didn’t know what he was saying. By this point in the interview Clarke had already drunk a fair amount of his sample snake oil and soon afterward was taken to Kingston Hospital.
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