Spotify Fans in Uproar as Earth Continues to Turn Despite App Store Victory
Extremely hip and ‘ja it’s just like ja so amazing’ fans of music streaming service Spotify were today devastated that Earth failed to stop spinning in light of the astounding news that their iPhone application has been accepted into the App Store.
Fans were left surprised and confused when they noticed the sun was carrying on its trajectory across the sky and winds were continuing to blow, even as news of the deal repeatedly broke on Twitter all fucking day.
“I just, like, thought the God or whatever would have a bit more respect than that. This is the literally Earth shattering. Spotify on the iPhone must be better than Jesus right?” said Rubinson Clitheroe, whose Second Life alter-ego, Clitheroe Rubinson, set fire to himself in protest at the move. “It’s not like he’s got an app.”
In response to outraged posts on Spotify’s blog, the company’s fortunately-surnamed spokesperson, Roberta Frum-Spotify, defended God.
“Hi! I’m Roberta Frum-Spotify!” she told fans. “I did actually email God about this a few days ago, but I haven’t had a reply yet – guess he was just on holiday punishing some poor African village with a wicked cool flood or something. Hot!’
In a later conversation with Techchuff, though, she added that founders Daniel Ek and Martin Lorentzon had been upset by the snub.
“We didn’t even get an out-of-office reply, so I’m not sure he actually was away” she said. “Martin and Dan have been pretty upset by it. He could have stopped the world from turning, at least for a couple of minutes. It’s not like it would have hit his Papal revenue.”
Rumours Ek and Lorentzon plan to extend the service so users can stream movies, hope, love, those cute house-rabbits, mountains, trees, lakes and meadows all to their laptops remain unconfirmed.